This is the story about the life of a woman changed forever by breast cancer.
This is my story.
From the beginning I have described this as a journey through rooms. Rooms that the Lord has gone before and prepared for me...Rooms in which I am never alone.


Why I write this blog...

To start afresh ...with a blog that shows the inside of my heart more...Who I am as a [real] person, a Christian woman, uniquely created by an Awesome God. This blog will mostly be about my life with breast cancer, anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia. Though these diseases do not define me, they are a part of my reality...& part of my life. I once said that I would not make 'My Heart's Home' all about cancer...and I found that hard not to do... since cancer became an uninvited, unwelcome guest in my life who threatened to take over unless I gave it a place and set some boundaries. Attempting to ignore its existence only gave it more power to wreak havoc as it threatened to dismantle the interior of my life while I struggled to keep it hidden in the shadows. So here I am writing this new blog.

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. Ephesians 5:13
Wow...According to that scripture (which is speaking of evil things that are kept in secret) If I expose cancer by dragging its sorry butt out from the darkness where it lurks, and bring it out into the Light where we can take a good look at it...Shining the Light of Christ on it......then it can produce good things...right living and truth! ( vs.9)
8) In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light. 9) This light produces every kind of goodness, right living, and truth..
14) Yes, everything is made clear by the light. This is why we say,“Wake up, you who are sleeping! Rise from death,and Christ will shine on you.”Ephesians 5: 8-14

Writing about my life gives me purpose...

Romans 8:28... And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
All things...not just the good things, the fun things, the nice things in life...If we love God and are living according to his purpose...everything will work out for our good...even cancer.
I hope this blog will reflect more of the true me, as I try to live my life in the light of Christ...I am not going to attempt to fit into any clique, I have never been able to fit into cliques anyway, and always seemed to lose a piece of myself while trying. Just like the human heart that beats within my chest, this blog is a part of me...It has inner chambers or rooms where few have entered in. This is where the truth resides...no phony facade, nothing artificial added ....Only the truth will be revealed here as I attempt to shine the light of Christ into every darkened corner in my life. So feel free to join me as we take a tour through the rooms of my life...but be forewarned: I tend to re-arrange a lot!

May you find many blessings and much love here...& always remember that we are... ~NEVER FORSAKEN~

Friday, January 22, 2016

I'm glad I went!

 (winter 2015) along the eastern shoreline of northern Michigan.
 



I managed to go to Bible study yesterday. It was touch and go there at first though...Jeff woke me up at 6 am so that I could drive him to work, and I got up and came out into the living room and then mumbled something about changing my mind, not going...too tired, then went back to bed. I laid there for ten minutes chiding myself...reasoning that I am awake, and I know I won't be able to get back to sleep despite the fact that I tossed and turned all night long from the anxiety; so I returned to the living room and told Jeff I was going, and I heard him laugh...Well, it IS a woman's prerogative to change her mind, right?

I'm glad I went to Bible study. It was a nice lesson, and we all had much to share. Afterwards I went over to Flo's house to help her with her printer. I couldn't fix it and hope I didn't make the problem worse. I'm trying to think of something to do to help her situation as she has been writing out our lessons by hand every week, and getting hand cramps and eye strain doing so. My own printer does not work properly either or else she would be using it.
I didn't stay long at Flo's as short visits are all I can really handle...especially after a 3 hour long Bible study. I ran an errand in the morning before going to the church, so I went directly home after visiting Flo's house.
I picked Jeff up from work later and we did the shopping...The anxiety did not hit me all day long until standing in line at the store. I really wanted to throw up. I'm so relieved I didn't...but I was drenched in sweat and had a headache by the time we walked back to the van with our groceries.
At least the anxiety did not show up sooner like it normally does...This is progress!
Thank you, Lord.

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2 comments:

Sharon said...

In light of all you face getting out the front door, this is a victory, friend!! Lisa, I see how God is working in and through you. Your fight against fear and anxiety, not to mention your brave cancer journey, is an inspiration to me. I see such courage in you. And I celebrate with you the excitement of being at Bible Study, of being out and about. Having battled anxiety and depression myself, I know what it sometimes takes to venture forth.

Every step we take, even those fright-filled ones, are taken with Jesus alongside. May He continue to grant you healing in your life, in all ways. May progress continue...

GOD BLESS!

January 27, 2016 at 9:42 AM
~Neverforsaken~Lisa Dreamchild said...

Thank you so much for your sweet words and encouragement, Sharon.
I am finding more and more as I share this journey, that there are so many women who struggle with this. I know men do too...both my brothers have some form of agoraphobia, one hardly ever leaves his home, and the other cannot drive and goes only to work and back home again. We've been in our home for nearly 23 years now and only one of my brothers has ever been here and only once. My one and only sister has anxiety in stores, but otherwise she is quite normal. My mother had OCD, so it is all genetic.
I would have never guessed you had this anxiety, Sharon. I am so glad you can use your own experience with it to help others like myself though!
God bless and ((hugs))

January 28, 2016 at 4:20 AM

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