This is the story about the life of a woman changed forever by breast cancer.
This is my story.
From the beginning I have described this as a journey through rooms. Rooms that the Lord has gone before and prepared for me...Rooms in which I am never alone.


Why I write this blog...

To start afresh ...with a blog that shows the inside of my heart more...Who I am as a [real] person, a Christian woman, uniquely created by an Awesome God. This blog will mostly be about my life with breast cancer, anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia. Though these diseases do not define me, they are a part of my reality...& part of my life. I once said that I would not make 'My Heart's Home' all about cancer...and I found that hard not to do... since cancer became an uninvited, unwelcome guest in my life who threatened to take over unless I gave it a place and set some boundaries. Attempting to ignore its existence only gave it more power to wreak havoc as it threatened to dismantle the interior of my life while I struggled to keep it hidden in the shadows. So here I am writing this new blog.

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. Ephesians 5:13
Wow...According to that scripture (which is speaking of evil things that are kept in secret) If I expose cancer by dragging its sorry butt out from the darkness where it lurks, and bring it out into the Light where we can take a good look at it...Shining the Light of Christ on it......then it can produce good things...right living and truth! ( vs.9)
8) In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light. 9) This light produces every kind of goodness, right living, and truth..
14) Yes, everything is made clear by the light. This is why we say,“Wake up, you who are sleeping! Rise from death,and Christ will shine on you.”Ephesians 5: 8-14

Writing about my life gives me purpose...

Romans 8:28... And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
All things...not just the good things, the fun things, the nice things in life...If we love God and are living according to his purpose...everything will work out for our good...even cancer.
I hope this blog will reflect more of the true me, as I try to live my life in the light of Christ...I am not going to attempt to fit into any clique, I have never been able to fit into cliques anyway, and always seemed to lose a piece of myself while trying. Just like the human heart that beats within my chest, this blog is a part of me...It has inner chambers or rooms where few have entered in. This is where the truth resides...no phony facade, nothing artificial added ....Only the truth will be revealed here as I attempt to shine the light of Christ into every darkened corner in my life. So feel free to join me as we take a tour through the rooms of my life...but be forewarned: I tend to re-arrange a lot!

May you find many blessings and much love here...& always remember that we are... ~NEVER FORSAKEN~

Friday, February 12, 2016

My own 'Room' story

I have finished reading 'Room' by Emma Donahue...it is a movie now too. You can Google it and watch the trailer...It's a very good read.
It brought back some of my own childhood memories. Although I wasn't as young as the character 'Jack' in the story, I was confined to my room for many years when I was a child. Six years total...and my own Ma helped to make it(my room), into a world all my own, complete with a TV (which was unheard of in a kid's room back in those days). I remember reading through a set of medical and science encyclopedias that were stored in my closet. I had to sneak them though because I was not supposed to bother them as my stepdad's family had brought them from Hungary a long time ago. Thankfully, they were written in English.

 Also, unlike the story, I didn't have a cuddly relationship with my mom, nor did we play games or do anything together, as she would get in trouble with the stepdad if she spent too much time in my room with me...She was really held prisoner there herself, only instead of not being allowed out of a room, she wasn't allowed in it...She had to always be out there with him in the small living room, far away at the other end of the trailer, away from me.

Unlike the child in the story, I was allowed to go to school, but unfortunately I really hated school, the other kids always bullied me because I was different...I couldn't wait to come home, and after chores I had to go back into my room, that's where I ate, and read books, did artwork, and watched TV.

I really loved anything science or nature related, and I usually watched PBS shows. Of course, back then there were only 3 or four channels to choose from.
Well, there is much more to this story, but I am mentally exhausted just from thinking about it all again.
Maybe I'll write more about it at some other time.

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