The Rooms in My Life

It's August 2021! It's been more than a year since I've posted..I have made attempts to post, written here and there, but just never felt compelled to hit that publish button.

What a wild year it has been too..Well, for our family it's been a wild couple of years.

I'll begin with the most relevant event(s)..June 2, 2019..I attended my granddaughter (Erna's) birth! I was one of the first to see her little face (She was born facing up..what the nurses call "sunny-side-up") and after that very long night in which we actually slept in the hospital parking lot for a couple of hours, we returned home and got a text "Mom and dad, I'm ok but in the hospital getting my appendix removed" This, from our oldest daughter..I had my bags packed already intending to stay a few days with our youngest who had just given birth, so I had a choice to make. It was only appendix removal, a simple operation, but our oldest daughter had a surgery some time before this and had trouble waking up from the anesthetic..so..I was going to go be with her about two hundred miles away..THEN the phone rings" "I'm in the hospital..It's pretty bad, can you come..I'm scared!" Now this was our middle daughter who was seven months pregnant and seriously ill with a new diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, and her blood (hemoglobin) was dangerously low so they were admitting her! My bags were packed..I needed to assess which child needed me the most (I was basically doing triage in my head) I drove myself more than four hundred miles away, a five hour trip..I stayed with my daughter three nights in the hospital, and a couple weeks after.

This was only months after I had completed several rounds of heavy duty chemo followed by 33 rounds of radiation. And it was during the end of that treatment when I went to take care of our oldest daughter after she had her digestive system re sectioned.

Two months after our middle daughter's hospital stay, it was time to go back to be with her after the birth of our youngest granddaughter Olivia..Whom I also got to meet as soon as she was born on August 22nd!

I like to tell this whole story because of the need to have and keep hope..Both these granddaughters were surprise babies..both were miracles..One was thought to have been a miscarriage..but she struggled to survive in the womb..and is perfectly healthy since birth!..The other baby's parents were told that they could never conceive, but God had other plans!

The third miracle here, is me.

Just one year prior, these three daughters and my husband were discussing the possibility of needing to care for me, as we were planning for the very real possibility of my becoming too ill to care for myself while my husband worked.

Well, I guess God had other plans too. Although I am heartbroken that one of my daughters has a very serious incurable disease, I know she is a fighter like me..and so is her little daughter! They will be strong no matter what comes their way in life.

I was allowed to be here to see my youngest daughter's dream of becoming a mother came true! And she is an excellent mother too.

And, although I have been through a lot myself..I feel so blessed to be given the strength to be there for all my children despite the belief that I would not live very long. I have been able to care for myself while my husband works full time (even lots of overtime)..And the cancer remains in remission. They still say there is no cure, but you can call it whatever you want..I am still here, still working hard around the home, and still hopeful about tomorrow!

What comes next for me? Well, I am seeing a neurologist for tests on all four limbs. It appears I have no reflexes..none! I get discouraged some days when I can do very little because of the pain, weakness, loss of sleep..etc..but, I remain hopeful! God is still bigger than this. My hands are strong despite their lack of sensation, so that is good! In fact, during my exam I cracked the doctor's knuckles when he asked me to squeeze, haha!

I give the credit for this to my nightly playing an online game with my daughter. We have so much fun riding horses around a vast old western world collecting valuables to sell, or sedating animals to study, and exploring nature..sometimes shooting bad guys who are trying to kill us and deadly predators who are trying to eat us! My hands and fingers stay nimble from using the controller..and my mind stays off the pain. But the biggest thing is the enjoyment we both get together!

But it's not been all fun and games lately. My dear old oncologist passed away at the end of April. I had not seen him in over a year since his office closed down and I had to see a new doctor. And then my very best friend of over 25 years passed away on May 10th. I was devastated. yes, she is with our Lord..She's HOME! But..I lost the one person (usually the first person) that I could just pick up the phone and talk my heart out to.I miss her every day. I'm happy for her..sad for me. I fell into a deep depression afterward, and I am only now coming out from that darkness. Other serious things happened within our little family unit..private things that plunged me even deeper. I am still grieving the death of our dear Buddy boy..our beloved hound dog who made our lives better throughout a long period of sickness..he was my comfort. Yes, we have our little Oliver..He is the sweetest little dog ever! I am so thankful I rescued him only eight months before Bud passed..such a comfort for me especially. He and I are inseparable!

Oliver's claws were long here because we were awaiting his vet appointment where he was going to get them trimmed for free while they cleaned his teeth.

And during the early months of the pandemic, I bought four chicks from the feed store. They are now fully fledged hens with big personalities! They were meant for eggs..but we get so much more out of them as, besides providing us the delicious eggs, they make us laugh..they also keep me busy!

In fact, just this weekend we finished building their new run and setting up the new coop!