This is the story about the life of a woman changed forever by breast cancer.
This is my story.
From the beginning I have described this as a journey through rooms. Rooms that the Lord has gone before and prepared for me...Rooms in which I am never alone.


Why I write this blog...

To start afresh ...with a blog that shows the inside of my heart more...Who I am as a [real] person, a Christian woman, uniquely created by an Awesome God. This blog will mostly be about my life with breast cancer, anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia. Though these diseases do not define me, they are a part of my reality...& part of my life. I once said that I would not make 'My Heart's Home' all about cancer...and I found that hard not to do... since cancer became an uninvited, unwelcome guest in my life who threatened to take over unless I gave it a place and set some boundaries. Attempting to ignore its existence only gave it more power to wreak havoc as it threatened to dismantle the interior of my life while I struggled to keep it hidden in the shadows. So here I am writing this new blog.

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. Ephesians 5:13
Wow...According to that scripture (which is speaking of evil things that are kept in secret) If I expose cancer by dragging its sorry butt out from the darkness where it lurks, and bring it out into the Light where we can take a good look at it...Shining the Light of Christ on it......then it can produce good things...right living and truth! ( vs.9)
8) In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light. 9) This light produces every kind of goodness, right living, and truth..
14) Yes, everything is made clear by the light. This is why we say,“Wake up, you who are sleeping! Rise from death,and Christ will shine on you.”Ephesians 5: 8-14

Writing about my life gives me purpose...

Romans 8:28... And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
All things...not just the good things, the fun things, the nice things in life...If we love God and are living according to his purpose...everything will work out for our good...even cancer.
I hope this blog will reflect more of the true me, as I try to live my life in the light of Christ...I am not going to attempt to fit into any clique, I have never been able to fit into cliques anyway, and always seemed to lose a piece of myself while trying. Just like the human heart that beats within my chest, this blog is a part of me...It has inner chambers or rooms where few have entered in. This is where the truth resides...no phony facade, nothing artificial added ....Only the truth will be revealed here as I attempt to shine the light of Christ into every darkened corner in my life. So feel free to join me as we take a tour through the rooms of my life...but be forewarned: I tend to re-arrange a lot!

May you find many blessings and much love here...& always remember that we are... ~NEVER FORSAKEN~

Thursday, October 30, 2014

This New Day


But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength; Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your loving kindness in the morning, For You have been my stronghold And a refuge in the day of my distress.  Psalm 59:16

 I spent a good portion of this morning looking for some encouragement online... a blog or a site especially for Christian women with breast cancer...or any cancer for that matter. I couldn't find too many...and then I thought: Well, if you cannot find it...create it! 
Then I remembered that I did create such a blog many months ago, but never made it public because that would mean letting my guard down and becoming vulnerable; but...vulnerability is required if you are intent upon sharing your life story, IF you are to be truthful and willing to expose even the ugly or the tough stuff...for that is part of it too, not everything is pink ribbons and sunshine after all...or purple ribbons, or orange ribbons etc..
But...Jesus is with us through it all, and that is what makes it bearable, even JOY-full at times. Again I am reminded through scripture that we are called to bear one another's burdens also.
So, this morning begins a new day...I woke up with the reminder that I still need the Lord, and with the awareness that I am still learning to function under the new normal, but it is okay to admit that I do miss the old normal.
People without cancer cannot understand that...not really.
If anyone with cancer is reading this, you probably know what it is to feel that certain disconnection from the rest of the population...our whole concept of time has changed, our perspective is different...and not always a better different either.
No longer do I plan too far ahead; gone are the conversations I used to have with my husband concerning our retirement plans, or the use of the word: "someday". For today is now 'someday'. Tomorrow is more uncertain than ever... Sometimes I feel like I am only a scan away from the end of life...therefore, I cannot afford to live in the future...I must live my life one day at a time.
I know, I know....That is no way to think! But this is my truth now...Thank the Lord I am not alone with all of this...For Jesus walks beside me, and tells me that today is enough for now...and tomorrow, whether I am here...or wake up in heaven with Him...It is all a part of His plan for me, and it is more than okay.
For the sake of my husband and children, I do hope and pray for many more years...It is a possibility. 
But for now, I will just have to be content with this new day.

This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
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